Your Egypt

[RoughShod]

I was listening to a whole lot of my heavy metal mp3's today(in an attempt to perhaps catogorize them along a time line to represent what I had lived) and it suddenly dawned on me that I still honour the promise I made to my wife...to love and cherish till death do us part...even though she is remarried with 2 more children?

Till death do us part has already occurred. Emotionally.

It has taken me all this time to only now recognize she is no longer my wife(well, its now that my children are finally independant and I no longer have to financially look after them) that I realize my idiotic dreams of love etc is safely thought of as a bunch of *beep*.

But now that I am finally free of her, am I really?...I made a serious promise to her that on her part she did not keep?


How do i syncronise my views of when I was young with my unfullfilled views of now?

[moll]

Roughshod, I think you have to just sit down and work out what it is that you want to happen in the rest of your life. If you're really quite happy feeling that 'till death do us part' was a lifelong, non-negotiable commitment that you made to YOURSELF (and to God, I know that you have strong religious feelings) then you have to accept that's the way your life is....

But if you made that 'till death do us part' vow to HER, to your ex, then the contract's been broken and you need to put it behind you and move on, IMO.

I don't know about you but since my parents have both died I've felt much more aware of my own mortality and that life's for living, you're a long time dead :cry:

[RoughShod]

Moll, i really have no idea what I want do to do with the rest of my life. I accept that I am free at last. But my vision has ALWays included a familily. But now I am just a freelance Dad. my family is not a part of a unit. but .....something I have always hated....I am trying to explain it......

You know ,life just happens, I have been given my bit of life.

I just have to accept it.

[moll]

I think you are having a midlife crisis, Roughshod, I've been having one for about the last 5 years :cry:

it's hard when your children grow up and become independent, it's hard to accept that you're no longer needed in the same way :cry: and it's hard when you realise that a part of your life is over...

I don't mean being a parent is over, I don't think that's EVER over. But listening to music from your past always makes you feel nostalgic for times that have passed, it always makes you realise that people have moved on and things have changed...

[RoughShod]

Moll, you know..half the time you profess never to understand what I say. And sometimes I don't even understand my own abstractness when I read it sober....but you really seem to be quite a wise person(when you not being the same as me...like totally obtuse)

[moll]

RoughShod wrote: Moll, you know..half the time you profess never to understand what I say. And sometimes I don't even understand my own abstractness when I read it sober....but you really seem to be quite a wise person(when you not being the same as me...like totally obtuse)

Roughshod.......sometimes I think I've learned a thing or two about life, and sometimes I think I still don't know a bloody THING about it and I could win stupidity competitions :cry:

But I think the two things that can instantly take you back to a certain time in your life are music and smells, I just have to have a sniff of O de Lancome and I'm back in hospital in labour, God knows why I thought I had to wear perfume to have a baby :roll:

Anyway.......I'm going to start making dinner and while I'm peeling spuds I'm going to have a think about my musical memories 8)

[moll]

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