Your Egypt

RoughShod · Joined: 02 Sep 2004 Posts: 2140 Location: South Africa

I know I said I would only be observing and not saying anything for a long time but I already broke my word:(...so in for a penny, may as well be in for a pound.

In my exstensive patronage of bars I have come to learn that in a bar where things can get pretty well out of realistic shape the eyes and ears of oneself quite often are well served by the barman. If he or she reckons something is going wrong, then one listens if one has any wisdom because one might wake up in the morning wishing one had heeded the warnings.

About 3 months ago I was in a bar when a woman came up to my stool, and proceeded to take a drink from my beer. I was a bit taken aback but offered her ciggerrette too, wondering where she was coming from. She seemed like a wet kitten coming in from the rain in her demeanor and seemed to be living in a world of her own. Her eyes were beautiful but they seemed to mirror some depth of reflection that well, showed nothing really but a far look. She was there but not for any explainable reason that could easily be seen. After taking a second sip from my beer the barman ordered her out of the bar. I still had not managed to guage her intent for being there but I curbed any protestation from my part because I know a barman would surely have good reason to do that..The barman rules in a place like that.

However, she stuck in my mind, she wanted more than a sip of beer, she did not want sex, she wanted company my heart kept telling me. I should have insisted she stay with me.

Well tonight after a long break I went to some bars again....and asked the barman at the last bar I went too, who this woman was. He said her name was Gina, a very nice person when not drunk, and that she had committed suicide by hanging herself.

And I thought to myself...for my own protection because I am drinkinhg, I listen to the barman like he is god, because I know my own reasoning is flawed, but if I had only listened to my own reasoning that night, perhaps this woman would still be alive. She was married and had children apparently...but 3 months ago she was just looking for somebody to care.

I wish I had cared enough to disregard the barman rule.

ruby slippers · Joined: 19 Dec 2004 Posts: 63

Roughshod, your theories are probably as true on the internet as they are in your life! There are many lonely people in the world and a lot of them end up on sites like these, just looking for someone to listen and reply. Maybe you should keep Gina at the front of your mind for the next time you post something uncalled for or just plain nasty! I'm not moralising but I think we all need something to pull us up short and make us think now and again. :cry:

Ricky · Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 1451 Location: OVERSEAS ;)

Rough
I think you should answer for yourself - why do you often get so cross with women and say poison oftentimes. We all think that you are kind in general, but only some let their guard, you say something bad. WHY? Perhaps you should answer this question before you do it so this woman Gina in real life? just a friendly advice, nothing critical

moll · Joined: 03 Feb 2005 Posts: 7705

I don't think you should be beating yourself up about this woman's suicide, Roughshod :cry:

From what I know about suicides (not much, I admit..apart from my friend's husband who killed himself about 20 years ago) EITHER they plan it all carefully and nothing and no one's going to stop them...or they don't plan it, it's just a kind of spur of the moment thing.

So even if you HAD left with her, or argued with the barman or whatever, the outcome would probably have been the same.

Ricky · Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 1451 Location: OVERSEAS ;)

shoot i did not read it to the end...committed a suicide? people can we have better stories :(

RoughShod · Joined: 02 Sep 2004 Posts: 2140 Location: South Africa

Oh good Ricky, then I do not have to take you seriously, since you never took the time to see the whole picture :lol: But I did see what you said, perhaps that is why I do what I do at times...because comments are made before the whole picture is seen?...and no, it is about time you stopped asking for better stories, and you actually do your own. So come on Ricks, stop being a receiver, be a giver...give us a better story ;)

btw, I think I know where you are coming from...unfortunately SA seems to be a hot spot for stories nobody likes to hear...and lightning does strike more than once in the same place it seems in this place

RoughShod · Joined: 02 Sep 2004 Posts: 2140 Location: South Africa

Moll...Actually....I felt cold... I do not blame myself...only blame myself for my acceptance of what has befallen others as an issue they have to deal with for themselves. This is what I find bad about myself....to accept it.

RoughShod · Joined: 02 Sep 2004 Posts: 2140 Location: South Africa

Ruby...point is taken

moll · Joined: 03 Feb 2005 Posts: 7705

RoughShod wrote: Moll...Actually....I felt cold... I do not blame myself...only blame myself for my acceptance of what has befallen others as an issue they have to deal with for themselves. This is what I find bad about myself....to accept it.

What's the alternative to acceptance, Roughshod?

There are some things you just HAVE to accept, or you'd drive yourself crazy....

It's like that prayer, God give me the strength to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference (can't remember who wrote it now though)..

RoughShod · Joined: 02 Sep 2004 Posts: 2140 Location: South Africa

Is wisdom such a panachia against the distrautfullness of inaction against what one finds is happening wrongly against others?

If you were to watch a snake approach its prey a mouse and they both in an enclosed cage. You are an observer. You know the mouse does not have a chance...but you are willing to be an observer to a life snatched up venomeously in the jaws of a preditor....?

If you observe a person in the throes of emotional death, would it not be the same thing. You say people choose it? I think they may just be locked in a cage with a predator, they are victims :(

moll · Joined: 03 Feb 2005 Posts: 7705

RoughShod wrote:

If you were to watch a snake approach its prey a mouse and they both in an enclosed cage. You are an observer. You know the mouse does not have a chance...but you are willing to be an observer to a life snatched up venomeously in the jaws of a preditor....?

Yep 8) sorry, I'm not getting into a fight with a snake to save a mouse's life, so call me a bad person :cry:

People choose suicide because of circumstances beyond their control......and if the circumstances are beyond THEIR control, what makes you think that they're within your control?

I know that sometimes people commit suicide because they feel they can't face life, they can't go on living with whatever their problem is, or maybe they're suffering from depression and the balance of their mind is disturbed.......and of course I feel sympathy for them that they were driven to it.

But the people I feel REALLY sorry for are the people left behind who have to deal with it.

RoughShod · Joined: 02 Sep 2004 Posts: 2140 Location: South Africa

After saying that word emotional death coupled to predator. It is only a transient abstract thought that flits elusively around my mind. I cannot quite pin it down...I just know it sounds true, and quite likely if I could conceptualize it completely I quite likely wouldn't be speaking all the sh i t I do right now.

RoughShod · Joined: 02 Sep 2004 Posts: 2140 Location: South Africa

Moll..that does not make sense to me. Sure you feel sorry for those left behind. But do you realize if you do not care for the one that did the stupid deed, the ones left behind may follow the same logic that allowed the one that did a stupid deed.

where is a line drawn? Oh well, she gave up on life, I respected her, I may as well end my own
????

Ricky · Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 1451 Location: OVERSEAS ;)

RoughShod wrote: Oh good Ricky, then I do not have to take you seriously, since you never took the time to see the whole picture :lol: But I did see what you said, perhaps that is why I do what I do at times...because comments are made before the whole picture is seen?...and no, it is about time you stopped asking for better stories, and you actually do your own. So come on Ricks, stop being a receiver, be a giver...give us a better story ;)

btw, I think I know where you are coming from...unfortunately SA seems to be a hot spot for stories nobody likes to hear...and lightning does strike more than once in the same place it seems in this place

I wanted to tell you long time ago to stop being nasty to women here like moll, winky, and list goes on. if there is some reason you do this, you need to know it for yourself and not being nasty to women here. Whatever your reasons are they are should not be targets of nasty remarks. So perhaps not the right place and time for me to tell you but that is still the message. they have been all accepting you, it is only fair to treat them nicely
not going to tell any stories myself.

Ricky · Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 1451 Location: OVERSEAS ;)

ok rough i will tell you a story about moscow in Russia over there :lol: